APART FROM a few of the older East Coast cities in America,the United Kingdom and the United States just "look"different—and I'm not referring to the gray skies and drizzle.Pretty much wherever you are in the UK, you know you're notin the States (and vice versa). A few things are extremely obvious,like the lack of blue mailboxes, no overhanging trafficlights or twenty-foot-high billboards. (The UK has billboardsbut they are not usually erected along motorways.) The housestend to look smaller and closer together. The Dursleys' house inthe Harry Potter movies is pretty typical of a new housing developmentin the UK. Watch BBC America's home improvementshows for a sneak preview of what to expect.Faced with all this new stuff, it's easy to feel overwhelmedgetting from A to B, or having to do the simplest of errands. Dothe ATMs (called "cash point machines") look the same? Whatis a bridleway? Fear not, I'm here to give you a head start.Despite the fact that the English singer Petula Clark sangabout "downtown," it actually doesn't exist in British cities.If you ask the natives how to get downtown, they'll probablyask you where that is! You'll need to say either that youwant to go "into town" or to the town center. When talkingabout London, there really is no town center as it's sucha large city with many different areas. (By the way, sinceit's a major international city, it's never referred to as "LondonTown"). Similarly, you won't find a Main Street, butyou will come across the High Street in every city, town,and village. You'll also hear references to High Street retailers,which basically means the chain stores that are foundin nearly every city and town shopping area.

• Many cities in the UK are very old, and the town centers consist of extremely narrow streets. For this reason, many have been paved and are now pedestrian-only shopping areas. This, coupled with the ever popular one-way traffic systems, makes driving around these towns and cities a nightmare until you memorize the route. When obtaining directions to city locations, make sure you listen carefully—a wrong turn or a missed light could get you stuck in the one-way system, rerouted about sixty miles, and eventually placed on the Missing Persons list.

• The streets are paved with tarmac, referred to as "tar." Althoughit's the same stuff, the Brits don't call it blacktop orasphalt. Incidentally (and this could save a life or two), the Brits refer to the sidewalk as the pavement, and not the roaditself. If you are directed to stand on the pavement, don't goto the middle of the road!

• Let's talk about the traffic for a second: While you will rarely see LA-type congestion (mainly because it's usually not that sunny), the UK can become fairly congested from time to time. Actually, I lie—the M25 is generally regarded as drivers' hell and to be avoided at all costs, especially between 6 a.m.-l 1 a.m. and 1 p.m.-8 p.m. If you plan to drive around London, you must pay the daily congestion charge or face a fine. You can pay this ahead of time or up until midnight of the day you drove into London (although drivers paying between 10 p.m. and midnight of that day pay an additional fee). Payment can be made online, at gas stations and stores where you see the "C" logo, by telephone, or by mail. When you pay, your car license plate (vehicle number plate) is photographed and entered into a database. Cars entering the Congestion Zone are similarly logged and a comparison made between those who pay and those who do not. You will not receive a ticket when paying. You will know when you are entering the Congestion Zone as there are large red "C" signs everywhere (almost like the Chicago Cubs logo, only red). The Congestion Charge is in effect Monday through Friday (public holidays excluded), from 7 a.m. until 6.30 p.m. Most people don't take their cars into central London anyway, as it's usually quicker either to walk, take the Tube, or hop on a bus. Since taxis are still allowed to drive around London, anyone who has not taken a taxi there for several years will marvel at the comparative distance that can now be covered in less than five minutes.

• Speaking of public transport—Despite the fact that theBrits complain loudly and frequently about their publictransport system, many Americans will be moderately impressed.You can pretty much get a train or a bus to any cornerof the country. {When it will come is another matterentirely.)
Unlike many of their American counterparts, Britishcity buses don't just go north/south or east/west. This ispartly because nothing is built on a grid system, and partlyto maximize the areas served. If you look at a bus route(pronounced "root"), for example, it will appear to ambleaimlessly, so be patient; you will get to your destination,but the route will be circuitous. I have been particularly impressedin recent years by a digital sign that is now a featureof many bus shelters around the country. These signs giveyou the estimated arrival times of the buses scheduled tostop there. The vote is still out as to their usefulness, as theone near my mother's house rarely even has the correct busnumber up! (A "bus shelter," incidentally, is a tempered
glass or Plexiglas construction, without doors, giving shelterfrom the driving rain and howling winds to those awaitingthe next bus.)
Trains are a bit more direct, but unless you're on a fastcommuter train or an intercity express, they also tend torumble along. When traveling by train, you can often buyyour ticket ahead of time either at the station or online.Make sure you have a ticket before you board as ticket inspectorscan fine you on the spot for traveling without firstpaying. Don't throw away your ticket when you get off thetrain, as it is usually required to get out of the station.Unfortunately, transport strikes are fairly frequent in theUK, and can bring whole cities to their knees. Nationalstrikes are less common than regional ones, but also happen,usually at the busiest times of the year.You can also travel quite well using taxis in the UK, althoughthe system is not quite the same as in the States.There are two different types of taxis, with a different set of
rules governing each. The black cab, also known as a hackneycarriage, is famed in London and can also be found inmany of the larger cities around the country. In London,and many other cities, these are the only taxis that canlegally "ply for hire," or be hailed off the street. If they areempty and available for hire, they will have a lit up sign onthe top of the car and you can stick your hand out as youwould anywhere. In addition, these cabs can be found outsidemajor train stations, airports, and various city center locations.They are not usually found in more rural areas. Theadvantage of taking a black cab in London is that thesedrivers study for years before obtaining their license andtherefore know every street within a six mile radius ofCharing Cross. If you're not in the mood, the downside isthat these chirpy drivers never stop talking and you'll knowtheir life history and political views before you've traveled ahalf mile.The other type of taxi is generally known as a mini cab.These cabs must be booked ahead of time either by phoningthe company office or booking online. They are not allowedto drive around the streetslooking for customers soif you attempt to hail one, it will probably drive straighton. These mini cabs look more like American cabs althoughthey don't have a light on top, and sometimes don'teven have company advertising on the exterior. All driversmust have an operator's license or temporary permit, as determinedby the local city council. If you book one of thecabs by phone, the booking person can usually give you aprice quote for your ride, which the driver should honor.In many large cities in the UK you'll find these cabs at variousstands dotted around, however, there are often verylong lines late at night. If you know when you'll be takingyour return journey, mini cab companies will let you booka cab to come and pick you up from wherever you state.You should be warned however, that if you're late for thetaxi, there are plenty of people who'll be more than readyto take your place, and the driver might not hesitate to takeanother paying customer.The bad news is that towns, villages, and cities rarely followthe grid system, so abandon all hope of intelligent guessworkwhen you're traveling around. Many places are extremelyold and grew up in seemingly random fashion.Even new housing developments ignore the opportunity tomake it easy to find people, and have cul-de-sacs (deadends) everywhere, curving streets and identical houses. Peoplehave been known to wander for hours trying to visitfriends in such places. With these types of layouts, directionsare doomed before you even attempt them: "Well, thestreet sort of curves round to the right but it's not strictly anoticeable angle" has you nervously wondering whetheryou've actually taken that curve already and missed a vitalclue. I wish people who live in such developments wouldhoist a flag when expecting visitors!For these reasons, the Brits tend to ignore the compasswhen giving you directions. People generally will tell youto "take a right" at certain spots rather than going north,south, etc. When you are asking for or giving directions,remember that mentioning any points on a compass willintroduce distraction to an already complicated mission.You need to be on the lookout for pubs and churches.There are tons of them everywhere and they serve as greatlandmarks.
Finding people's houses can also be a nightmare because ofthe tendency to have Acacia Avenue, Street, Close, Crescent,and Drive all in the same town, but not necessarily anywhereclose to each other. When sending mail to someone, don'tassume they live on Acacia Street and don't just write "Acacia."You must be very specific about the nomenclature—Street, Gardens, Avenue, Drive, Close, whatever. Also, ifyou're driving, don't assume everything is a street oravenue—listen carefully for the address. If you're taking acab, make sure you have the exact address or you'll be in fora lecture from the driver.Be warned, also, that some houses you visit may havevery strange addresses—or no number. Although quaintsounding,these houses are often extremely tedious to findas the house name is either hidden by peeling paint on thesign, engulfed by a giant rhododendron, or simply notthere at all. If you're given just a house name as the address,either ask what the house looks like or for some othervisual clue should you get lost. Having said that, I recentlyvisited a friend's new house, which supposedly had a "bigwhite rock" at the end of the driveway. After three drivebys,I finally realized she was talking about the grayishstone that couldn't have been more than a foot in diameter.

• You'll notice a distinct lack of yellow school buses. For the most part, children make their own way to school by being driven, walking, or taking regular public transport. Public transport buses vary in color throughout the land, depending on the city you're in and the particular company running that service. Even where special buses are provided exclusively to transport kids to and from school, they are not a uniform size, shape, or color. You'll also notice far fewer joggers in the UK, and definitely fewer in-line skaters and anything else on wheels except cars. Since most places (except remote country lanes) have sidewalks, however, it's usually good jogging terrain, as long as you take a rain slicker. Although the UK is quite a small country, there's plenty of opportunity to get out into what Brits call "the countryside." Every major city has quick and easy access to beautiful areas, although from London it might take you a little longer to get there. Some of the land is owned by the National Trust (or the Scottish Trust), along with many wonderful stately homes and museums. Both trusts are registered charities and were set up to buy property to preserve—and in many cases restore—for future generations. If you're planning to visit a number of their sites, you can purchase a Trust membership card, which then gives you free admission and parking to all their properties. You can save huge amounts of valuable time and money by doing this. Visit the Web sites for more information. If you're going to be in the UK during the summer, bear in mind that the Brits love their National Trust properties and visit them often, thus ensuring long lines to get into the most popular spots, as well as packed parking lots (car parks). This popularity also means that the time it takes to drive to your chosen beauty spot might be longer than you expect. Many country tourist attractions are accessed by narrow roads and long, winding driveways. You can spend a long time just sitting in your car waiting to go through the entrance. If you're planning to do a lot of driving in the UK, first of all, read the relevant chapter in this book (chapter 6). Second, don't plan your itinerary based solely on miles to be covered. You also need to take into consideration which roads will get you there. A "B" road will certainly be the more scenic, but if you get stuck behind a tractor or a herd of cows, it could literally double your travel time.

• There are a lot of public restrooms dotted about the UK,both indoors (e.g., shopping centers) and outdoors (e.g.,parks). These loos range from spotlessly clean to downrightdisgusting so check them out before allowing your childrento use them. Since there's generally no gap between thefloor and the door, if your child gets locked in a cubicle,you could be in trouble.

• Although the weather's usually a bit "iffy," as they say, the UK has plenty of outside sports and activities. In recent years a number of holiday centers (such as Center Pares) have sprung up where you can take various lessons or just enjoy outdoor activities ranging from canoeing to horse riding and hiking. There are also many footpaths where you can safely ramble around the countryside without getting too lost or trespassing on anyone's property. The issue of trespassing is sometimes a thorny one, so make sure you follow the signs when walking. Anyone can use a public footpath; a "permissive" footpath, although rather salacious-sounding, basically means that the land is privately owned but the public is allowed to walk through. Bridleways are also open to the public and to horse riders and cyclists. The Ramblers' Association has a great Web site explaining all of this.

• Talking about the weather—the UK has a fairly mild climate, but it is extremely unpredictable. (A word here: TheBrits are well aware that their weather is not always what one would want. There's usually no need to remind themof this by complaining about gray skies or cool summers.)Although umbrellas (often called brollies) are not always easy to carry about, especially when hiking, it is advisableto take some sort of waterproof outer layer. Also, if you'revisiting in the summer, don't assume that you'll only need light cotton clothing. I have had to purchase fleeces for mykids in the middle of July or August on many occasions.England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales all havetheir own Tourism Boards, giving a wealth of informationon every aspect of each country. There are also TourismBoards for many individual counties, as well as a separateboard for London. In most cities you'll find a Tourist InformationOffice, and all the boards have their own Web sites.They are worth checking out as you not only learn aboutwhere you're going, but often can obtain discount fares andother bargains.

BRITISH WORDS THAT MIGHT

REQUIRE TRANSLATION
The A to Z (pronounced "Zed") n—street map (you can
get them for every city)
Brolly n—umbrella
City center n—downtown
Common n—village green or heathland
Cul-de-sac n—dead end
Double decker n—two-level bus
Pavement n—sidewalk
Semi, or semi-detached n—duplex
Subway n—underpass
Tube n (in London)—subway; also called the Underground
AMERICAN WORDS THAT THE
BRITS DON'T SHARE
Downtown—city center
Duplex—most commonly, a semi-detached
Strip malls—shopping centers
Subway—Tube (in London) or Underground train